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Speeches, eulogies, elegies — all of these things can make for a beautiful, moving funeral service. However, asking for performances from yourself, your friends, or your family may not feel quite right. After all, the grieving process often triggers significant personal distress. Perhaps you’re all too emotional to deliver anything on the spot, or you’d like to take a more creative approach with a memorial video.
A memorial video can fulfill everything you typically expect from a traditional or even non-traditional funeral service. Depending on your wants and needs, it can share memories of you, your family, and your loved one with music, words, photos, clips, and more. It’s all up to you, creatively speaking.
While we’ve organized 14 tips for you below, you may find that following a different order makes more sense for your process — go for it! Do whatever works best for you and your crew.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- 1. Brainstorm
- 2. Compile as Much as You Can
- 3. Determine the Highlights
- 4. Make Time for Other Additions
- 5. Narrate the Video, If You Choose
- 6. Find the Right Music
- 7. Coordinate the Rest of the Service’s Schedule
- 8. Figure Out How Long the Video Should Be
- 9. Determine the Appropriate Amount of Pictures
- 10. Pick a Good Title for Your Memorial Video
- 11. Edit Your Video as Necessary
- 12. Preview It to a Small Audience
- 13. Make Sure You Have the Right Equipment
- 14. Allow Shareability (If You Want)
- Honor Your Loved One with Confidence
Tip:If you're hosting aZoom memorial serviceusing a service likeGatheringUs, ask if you can create a digital memorial slideshow or video to share with your virtual guests. You can scan physical photos, upload live videos, and add songs and other digital mementos to your slideshow.
1. Brainstorm
When it comes to creative projects, brainstorming sessions are a crucial way to let ideas flow freely. Gather the team helping you create the video and have a shared session. Or, request that everyone brainstorm alone before reconvening.
If you’re creating the video as a solo project, remember to be patient with yourself. If you hit a mental block or get emotional, try not to grow frustrated. Allow yourself to feel. And when you need to, give yourself time to step away for a bit and do something you enjoy.
Some of your greatest ideas may come to you at odd times, such as when you’re falling asleep or in the shower (hopefully not at the same time).
2. Compile as Much as You Can
Once you have a few solid topics, stories, or ideas in place for the memorial video, it’s time to figure out how you’ll convey them.
Do you have access to the right photographs? Do you need to write out a story or two and do a voice-over? What family members should you reach out to for input? How tech-savvy are they? Do you need to help them digitize their photos?
There are so many factors to consider when gathering content for this video. That said, you don’t have to overcomplicate things or pressure yourself to create a Sundance-worthy film. It’s about highlighting and honoring your family member in the best, yet most honest light.
3. Determine the Highlights
Once you’ve compiled enough resources and planned for additional elements you’d like to shoot or create (which we’ll discuss below), it’s time to determine the highlights of the video.
What are the most impactful moments? How can you let them speak as loudly as they need to?
Take these questions into consideration when choosing music, pauses, effects, and anything else you feel comfortable tackling.
4. Make Time for Other Additions
Highlights can’t shine without content in between. What are the other elements you want to add? Think deeply about the time you spent with your loved one.
If it was brief or “uneventful,” enlist other friends and family members. Ask if you can record them speaking about what your loved one meant to them, or if they can share a special memory.
5. Narrate the Video, If You Choose
Adding a voice-over to your video not only allows you to fill in any gaps in your content — it also allows you to rehearse any thoughts or sentiments you find too difficult to share in person. This way, you can help fill any gaps in content that may be present as well.
You don’t necessarily have to write and read an entire commemorative speech, but this may make the rest of the video's content easier to compile.
Play to your strengths. If you’re uncertain about your video editing or music mixing skills, a voice-over can be just as impactful, if not more so. If you mess up while recording, no one will know how many takes you needed.
6. Find the Right Music
You’re welcome to feature organ music in your video, as it’s common at memorial services and funerals. However, you may prefer something a little more soothing, uplifting, or special.
On the other hand, perhaps you’d like to feature music your late loved one enjoyed. After all, it’s about their wishes. If they loved underground rap, then, by all means, go for it.
You may also be interested in these modern funeral songs.
7. Coordinate the Rest of the Service’s Schedule
When considering how long the video should be as well as what should be in it, it’s also important to consider the rest of the service.
Will there be any live speakers? Is there time set aside for any cultural traditions?
You don’t want your video to overshadow anything — on the contrary, you want it to complement everything else planned. That said, you can also plan for your video to be all-encompassing and serve as the star of the service instead.
8. Figure Out How Long the Video Should Be
Determining the ideal length of your video may come down to the rest of the service.
If you were asked by a loved one who’s planning the rest of the memorial to create a video, you should respect their wishes or guidance for how long it should be.
If you’re unsure of any timeframe while planning or even creating your video, it may be wise to over-plan. You can always trim the video or share an extended version with friends and family after the service. Your best estimate, however, can make many of these tips go more smoothly.
9. Determine the Appropriate Amount of Pictures
It’s difficult to gauge how much is too much sometimes.
Choosing the appropriate amount of photos to showcase your loved one’s life may be tricky. You want the important moments to shine as well as the ordinary ones — but jamming too many pictures into your video and flying through them won’t be effective.
On the flip side, your loved one may have eluded photographers for much of their life. If so, fill any gaps with spoken portions or other content. Talk about your loved one’s favorite things, for example.
You may consider sharing your video with a trusted loved one before the service and ask if they thought it ran too long. You may also be interested in how to make a funeral slideshow.
10. Pick a Good Title for Your Memorial Video
Picking the title for your memorial video may come easily, or you may have to wait until the video is complete to confidently know what to call it.
The title may be something creative and highly descriptive, or you may consider simply titling the video with your loved one’s name.
11. Edit Your Video as Necessary
Refining your video throughout its creation is important. You should also take some time away from your “finished” video or your work in progress. Afterward, edit again as needed.
Time spent away from projects allows you to look at them with fresh eyes and more easily spot any errors or areas that could use improvement.
12. Preview It to a Small Audience
Previewing your video may be nerve-wracking. When creating anything — especially something as personal as a memorial video — many of us can be wary of criticism.
However, selecting the right viewing party that has you and your loved one’s best interests at heart can take the production to the next level.
13. Make Sure You Have the Right Equipment
If you’re showing your memorial video at a funeral home, a church, or another event space, it’s crucial to have the right equipment.
You can likely coordinate with any of these places, as it’s more common than ever to share videos or presentations. You may even decide to have a trial run before the service, just to make sure everything’s working as it should.
14. Allow Shareability (If You Want)
One of the best things about video content — versus speeches or anything else — is that it can last forever. It’s not so much about reliving the death of a loved one. It’s about reliving the beautiful memorial you created and shared with others.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to watch this video again later on. If you go about it right, your guests will be much more struck by the value of your loved one’s life, not the circ*mstances of their death. Their memory can live on in a powerful way, especially if you have clips of them.
To that end, making your video shareable can be a powerful gift for funeral guests. If you don’t feel comfortable opening it up to the public, you can always choose platforms that are private or password-protected, such as a memorial site or social media account.
Honor Your Loved One with Confidence
As we’ve discussed, a memorial video may not be the first thing you think of as the right way to honor your loved one. You may also struggle to create a video amid all the emotions you’re feeling.
However, at times when you feel that your words may fail, be forgotten, or are simply too difficult to share with an audience, a prepared video can convey everything you need to say. It’s worth the extra effort.
Sources:
- "How to Overcome Grief’s Health-damaging Effects." Harvard Health Publishing - Harvard Medical School. February 15, 2021. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/how-to-overcome-griefs-health-damaging-effects.
